I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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