I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
