i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
