"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
