take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize