Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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