I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well I just put wine in my tea
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
