So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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