Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
