Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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