the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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