sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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