Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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