K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Randomize
