We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I stole a fireplace last night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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