I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
