I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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