Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
