The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
