ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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