Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
