If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
