woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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