My hand turned me down
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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