yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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