Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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