She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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