She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
