if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
