so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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