yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
