it's too hot outside to masturbate.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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