U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
