I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
