It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
