dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
