forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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