You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
