Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
