My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
