Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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