I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
