After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
