I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize