Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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