would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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