i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
