how do flat chested girls get laid?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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