pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
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Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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