Small penises have feelings too.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
