she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He better not be in your backpack
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
