Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
