Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
