she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
