Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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