Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i barfeds in our rink
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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