I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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