You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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