do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
