I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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