So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize