It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
