i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
