Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize