We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
