the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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