i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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