At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
