umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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