That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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