just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
it glows. i had to have it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
