check it out our google latitudes are spooning
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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